He-Man-Woman-Lovers-Club
by fangman15
Summary: Alfalfa and Spanky have made a new club where girls are allowed too. They were going to enter a race to raise money for a clubhouse, but they club splits up and end up racing against each other in the race. Alfalfa learns a lesson on their short drive and everyone ends up with the result they wanted.


He-Man-Woman-Lovers-Club

It's been a couple weeks, or something, since Spanky and I won the big race. Now that I think about it, I am very glad that my hair sticks up whenever I get nervous or bashful or scared. We literally won the race by a hair, and it just happened to be my hair, because I was scared for the fear of my life coming to an end. So many great things resulted from it though, too! I got my babe, Darla, back from Waldo. I punched Butch right in the face and into the mud, and Woim followed him into the mud because he didn't want to get a black eye like his friend. Best of all, I had my best friend since I was in diapers back on good terms with me, Spanky.

"Well are you gonna come or what!" Spanky yelled at me from across the yard. He always catches me when I am outside, doing some deep thought. "It's the initiation for the girls tonight!" That got me ready to go, and soon we were jogging to the clubhouse to make sure we weren't late.

Greeting us at the entrance, Uh-Huh was there so we could give him the sign to make sure we were members. We waived our fingers under our chin, and he gave us the "uh-huh" he was known for. Our little shack of a clubhouse was full of boys and girls waiting for our first official meeting. Spanky went to the front of the room, because he was the president, and waited a couple minutes before we began.

The clubhouse has had a rough history. Burnt and tiny, the clubhouse was something we would need to fix up. It was made of wood and there were old church pews for us to sit on. An old podium in the front, which was where Spanky was standing.

"As the president of this new club we are making, I hereby make it official by all you listeners that the former club, He-Man-Woman-Hater-Club, will become a new club where we show that man and girl are equal and we love each other. The new club will be called, He-Man-Woman-Lover-Club." Everyone cheered, and I was so excited because I had gotten in trouble over the summer because I went on a date with Darla, and the boys all spied on me and threatened to suspend my membership. "Quiet down gang, okay, so we will need to initiate all of the girls into this club. Squishing the cheeks together will be the sign for the girls to get in." All of the girls practiced and laughed.

Spanky continued with his speech, "Because of all these new members, who will be entering into this group; we will be signing up for another race car derby to raise money for a bigger clubhouse!" That's the best news I've heard since Mom told me she was making macaroni for supper! The car we made from was scratch was faster than _The Blur_. "You girls might not know how we pick the driver for the car, but we put everyone's name on this hat, and pick two people to be in the car."

I was a bit nervous to hear who he would call; I wanted to drive the car again so badly. I had the time of my life with Spanky, winning the whole derby. Spanky's hand slithered into the black hat and my heart beat started racing. His hand came out with a white slip with a little pencil marking you could see. Spanky's mouth lipped something again, but I didn't hear him. A couple boys from the row behind me, started shaking me, "You won," and "That's you, man," they said to me I jumped up and yelled for joy.

Now I was just hoping that Spanky would draw his own name, we could have a rematch of our last derby again, but this time, win by a mile! His hand dove into the hat again, it swished through a couple of papers, causing a few to fall out, but his muscles clenched and he came out gripping one of the papers tightly. He opened up the white folded paper, and his face made an expression between confused, happy, excited, scared, and joyous. He then proudly said, "And myself." Our congregation had mixed feelings about this, of course I was screaming, along with the rest of the boys. They started to chant "dream team" and I ran up to the stage and gave him a hug. But the girls' reaction was a different story.

They were yelling and saying it wasn't fair that two boys won, saying it was a set up. They were demanding a re-draw. Darla stood and said "that's it, I'm outta here," and many girls followed her.

I followed her and the rest of the group of girls out and got in front of them so I could explain the story. "Ladies, ladies, you just need to calm down! The drawing was total luck! I mean, any of you had as good as a chance of winning as I did!" I tried to keep up the positive attitude so our brand new club wouldn't already be destroyed.

"Alfalfa, you don't understand!" Darla shot right back at me. "We wanted the race to be a chance where we could show that we are mature enough to have people see you don't hate us girls anymore." A couple of her friends were behind her agreeing with every word she said. "You know what Alfalfa? I quit your stupid club!" She nodded into my face and so did the rest of the group of girls that were watching.

I just witnessed half of the newly-formed group break up. I thought I should go back into the club house to see what was left of the He-Man-Woman-Lovers-Club. I saw Spanky standing up and still talking, but the entire congregation was the original boys.

I was shocked! Who knew that a simple drawing of who gets to drive a car would cause the group to split up? Spanky was saying, "Well I guess since the girls are no longer here with us, we can enter the race just to save the money! The race is next Saturday, so make sure you ask your mom for a ride soon so we can have a full attendance. Meeting dismissed."

Spanky and I walked home in complete silence. He took a left a couple blocks before usual and I shouted a goodbye. He waived back, and I continued to walk home. My dad greeted me outside and told me that Darla called here, and was wanted me to call her back. I rushed over to the phone and dialed her number.

The phone rang three times and she finally answered, "Hello?"

"Hey Darla, my dad told me you called me."

"Yeah, I was just wanted to let you know, in a nice and mature way, that Mary-Jane and I will be entering in the same race this weekend."

My jaw dropped, I was shocked, I can't believe this really bothered her that much. "Where are you gonna get the car?" I questioned her.

"Oh yeah, Mary-Jane's dad bought us a brand new one." She took a long pause, and I didn't say anything. "So I was just going to wish you good luck."

I was confused on how to respond to all of this. My girlfriend and her bestfriend, that just left our club, went and got a car to race against the club they just quit. Were they trying to prove something? "Uh.. thanks," I finally muttered and then hung up.

I ran over to Spanky's house to deliver the news and he sent Petey, his dog, to call for an emergency sleepover in the tents. A few hours later, the whole club was there and we were ready to get down to business.

"Alright gang, I've called this meeting to let you know that the girls that were once part of this group have walked out on us and bought their own car." The boys exploded with fury, shouting treason and other words they didn't know they meaning of. "This just means we will spend our night making our car, that much better."

We spent hours cranking the battery power to be even higher and the electricity level to make our car two times as fast. After working so hard and using our best mechanic skills, we all got a good night sleep.

It was finally Saturday and Spanky and I were ready to kick some girl booty. I was steering the wheel, and Spanky was watching the road, because we went completely off track last time we raced. We pulled into the race track and we were pumped! The girls pulled in beside us and were revving their engines. Five or six other cars were behind us, but I was positive they wouldn't be any competition.

Our car was the same one we had last year, but it just had a few mechanical adjustments. Darla and Mary-Jane's car was beautiful. Brand new and shiny, if their car was as fast as it was good-looking, we would be in for a tough race. The other cars were just the classic box cars, all red except one black one.

The race track was just a couple of streets; the people in charge got a permit to close them off so there would be no traffic. Parents stood on the side and it was a very sunny day. We would have to drive on a rock alley, so our turns will have to be precise. This track was a lot shorter than usual; the attendant said that the race should only last around 5 minutes. To win the race, we couldn't let them gain a lead.

The announcer was getting ready to start it, he held his hand up to the microphone, "The race begins in three.. two.." There was an especially long pause, I was getting ready to pound on the gas. "GO!"

The white and black checkered flag was waving and I took off at full speed. "Come on Alfalfa, the race just started and we are already losing to the girls!" Spanky exclaimed as he pointed to their car, a good ten feet in front of us.

Our car was taking quick lefts and rights and we were following right behind Darla and Mary-Jane the whole time. "We have one turn left!" Spanky warned me.

I turned on the turbo option and our car started to shake a little, but then we took off at what seemed to be one hundred miles per hour! We were gaining on the girls and after we took our last, gradual, right turn. We were finally tied, and way ahead of everyone one else was way behind! Darla and Mary-Jane were looking over at us, with looks of shock and disbelief.

Spanky and I were totally going to win! We were going to show those girls that they shouldn't have our left our club! "Hey Alfalfa," Spanky was yelling over the cheering crowd, "I don't think it's a good idea for us to win."

I was so confused; didn't he want us to beat the girls? "What do you mean?" I shouted back.

"They wanted us to be more mature, and the rules are to let the ladies go first!" he said. He had a good point too. I didn't want Darla to be mad at me, and plus, they went through the trouble of getting a brand new car, just so they could beat us.

Darla shouted at us, "May the best win!" I had to make a decision, and fast too. I could win the race, by a hair again, and have the girls be mad at us and not rejoin our club again. The other option was to let the girls win and have them be impressed with our maturity and be in our club again.

Spanky looked nervous, "What are you gonna do?" he said yelled. Mary-Jane was cheering on Darla to press on the gas harder.

"I'm going to be a gentleman!" The instant after I let those words out, I slammed on the brakes. Surely and swiftly, the girls passed us and won the race.

The crowd's reaction was a confused one, many people stopped cheering, some cheered louder, and some even boo'ed. We crossed the finish line a little bit after, just to make sure we placed, since we still beat everyone else by a long shot. We got out of the car and walk toward the rest of the boys.

"What were you thinking?" Froggy said, "We could've won." Many of the others also had this point of view on why I purposely lost.

"Well you see, I was trying to prove to the girls that we were more mature than to let a race get in between us," I tried explaining. "They will probably come running for us now, and be begging to join our club again!"

I looked over to see the girls in their own little group, cheering for themselves. I was starting to think I made the wrong decision. The top three winners were called over to the stand to be announced, and for the winner to be awarded the money.

Darla and Mary-Jane, Spanky and I, and two other strangers were up on the stage when Darla whispered to me, "We wanted to beat you fair and square."

I knew it, I thought that the saying "ladies first" was very gentleman-like and would show our maturity. Spanky elbowed me and I was so scared to hear what the boys would say, since the girls are still mad.

The girls were handed the money and we went our separate ways. Spanky tried to give me a speech on how I did the right thing, but I wasn't paying attention. We rejoined our group of boys over by the race track and they were discussing sports.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around to see who it was. Darla and the rest of the girls were standing, smiling. "So I thought this money might help our club get a bigger clubhouse," Darla said slyly. Us boys cheered and I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Everything was back to the way it should be.


End file.
